Divorce on its own can be a long and sometimes messy process. But if you have children, your divorce proceedings are a little more complicated. With your lawyers’ assistance, you and your spouse must decide custody arrangements, financial obligations, school and summer schedules — to name a few factors.

Our guide below provides general information you and your spouse should consider as you make decisions that impact your children’s future once your divorce is finalized.

Custody Arrangments

One of the first plans you’ll have to make is about the care of your children. If you and your spouse are separating on amicable terms, you’ll have the chance to discuss custody arrangements.

  • Will you split physical and legal custody equally?
  • Will you be the custodial parent (i.e., will you have custody of your kids the majority of the time)?
  • Should you share all holidays or alternate major ones?
  • How long and how often will your children stay with each parent?

You and your partner can discuss these arrangements with your attorneys to determine which option is in your child’s best interest.

Financial Obligations

Next, you’ll discuss financial obligations. You and your spouse may decide to split the cost of these necessities for your children:

  • Shelter
  • Food
  • Clothing
  • Schooling
  • Medical, dental, and vision insurance
  • Additional medical coverage (e.g., doctors bills)

If you are seeking sole custody of your children, you can talk to your lawyer about receiving a monthly child support payment from your spouse to cover part or all of these expenses. Note that a judge will determine how much child support you are awarded. They will factor each parent’s situation, finances, and custody arrangements into their ruling.

Housing, Schooling, and Other Scheduling Concerns

This specific compromise depends on if you and your spouse share legal and physical custody or if you are the custodial parent.

In the first scenario, you and your partner must discuss where and with who your kids will live or if you’ll opt for a bird nesting arrangement. (Bird nesting is a living situation where children stay in one stable home — a nest — while parents rotate in and out. On days where you live in the home with your kids, your partner will live in a separate residence. You’ll then live in that separate residence on the days your spouse is in the family home with your children.)

You’ll also determine where your kids will go to school, where they’ll go on vacation, which religious upbringing they’ll have (if any), and who they’ll spend summer vacation with.

In the second scenario, where you are the custodial parent, you’ll make these decisions yourself.

Parenting Classes

Regardless of your custody arrangement, you and your partner must attend parenting classes. You can take these courses in person or online, and you’ll essentially learn what your children will experience during your divorce and how you can support them.

You may be also be required to take classes that teach about co-parenting and high conflict parenting depending on your situation.

Future Changes

The future is always changing. For example, what happens if you’re the custodial parent, you remarry, and your new spouse gets a job out of state? Will you still share custody with your former partner or will you ask a judge for a custody modification?

While you can’t plan for everything that is yet to come, you should still discuss and plan for certain events with your spouse so you both have as much worked out as possible.

If you have other questions about what you and your spouse should decide on for your kids, consult the attorneys at Randall A. Wolff & Associates, Ltd. We’ll work with you to ensure you, your spouse, and your children experience the best outcome possible for your circumstances.